It never ends. CJ is back in the hospital with these awful bronchial asthma spasms yet again. The poor kid looks so drugged out because of all the different steroids. I was trying to cheer him up when I said well maybe when you finally get back to baseball you'll be so strong you'll hit a home run! He laughed which was what I was going for.
This made me think. Yes yes I think way too much. That fact has been pointed out to me many MANY times. However, in this instance it was more of a silver lining thinking rather than over analyzing. My life is extremely stressful. This is a fact and I doubt it will change anytime soon (unless a cure for diabetes is magically found). So CJ and I decided to make our own lists of things that make us happy. He has fallen asleep but here is mine so far:
The sun shining on my face.
Getting hugs and kisses from my boys for no reason.
Having friends & family that I can be my absolute self around.
Curling up with a good book.
I know that doesn't seem like much but its all I can think of at the moment. Keep in mind, I'm in a state of exhaustion here! I have never understood how people are expected to rest in the hospital with nurses, doctors, nutrition people, etc coming in and out through out the day and night.
I need a vacation!!!
May 22, 2011
May 20, 2011
The Sun Will Come Out, Tomorrow...?
Well its supposed to anyway! Usually this is the time of year when it starts getting humid and sticky. I'll admit, its my favorite season! I love the sun, UV Rays and all!
Its hard to believe that its been almost a year and a half since dad died. At times its like he's still here but at others I feel the gaping void he left as though it just happened. Now Grams is sick and having open heart surgery. If its not one thing, its another!
The past couple of week have been so stressful! CJ in and out of the hospital. First, sinus infection but then no its severe allergies to pollen and animal dander but wait no let's test for whooping cough! The poor kid just wants to play baseball!
Knock on wood but at least Riley is doing well! His A1c level is down and he's growing faster than I can supply the clothes! His doctors are happy with how well he's doing on the pump and everyone is happy that we've decided to do diabetes camp as a family.
Speaking of diabetes. Something has been really bothering me as of late. While researchers are constantly searching for a cure using whatever funding is made available or raised; the government spends millions if not billions on space missions?! How many times do we need to go the moon or whichever planet is on the agenda next. That money could be used on funding research not for just diabetes but for many of other diseases without a cure as of yet!! Alzheimer's, Diabetes, Parkinsons, MS, Macular Degeneration, various cancers, etc. Every single day there is some sort of new technology, gadget, or gizmo but yet people are still dying from the effects of these diseases.
Ok I guess that's my vent for today....perhaps more for tomorrow!
Its hard to believe that its been almost a year and a half since dad died. At times its like he's still here but at others I feel the gaping void he left as though it just happened. Now Grams is sick and having open heart surgery. If its not one thing, its another!
The past couple of week have been so stressful! CJ in and out of the hospital. First, sinus infection but then no its severe allergies to pollen and animal dander but wait no let's test for whooping cough! The poor kid just wants to play baseball!
Knock on wood but at least Riley is doing well! His A1c level is down and he's growing faster than I can supply the clothes! His doctors are happy with how well he's doing on the pump and everyone is happy that we've decided to do diabetes camp as a family.
Speaking of diabetes. Something has been really bothering me as of late. While researchers are constantly searching for a cure using whatever funding is made available or raised; the government spends millions if not billions on space missions?! How many times do we need to go the moon or whichever planet is on the agenda next. That money could be used on funding research not for just diabetes but for many of other diseases without a cure as of yet!! Alzheimer's, Diabetes, Parkinsons, MS, Macular Degeneration, various cancers, etc. Every single day there is some sort of new technology, gadget, or gizmo but yet people are still dying from the effects of these diseases.
Ok I guess that's my vent for today....perhaps more for tomorrow!
April 24, 2010
One sad day at a time
It'll be 2 months on Monday since my dad died. 2 months. Most mornings when I wake up I still expect him to be upstairs starting breakfast. Its funny cause all the little things about him that used to drive me nuts are the things I miss the most.
He definitely led such a full life. No one can ever say he didn't take risks nor can anyone say he was boring. He had 12 kids!! 17 grandchilden! 2 great grandchildren!! Granted I'm the only one from he and my mother's marriage but still. How he had time for all that plus worked 2 or 3 jobs back then, I'll never know.
I know when someone close to you dies it tends to make you think about your own mortality and many people even begin to put their own affairs in order. Don't get me wrong...death scares me but I'm not about to start my funeral plans just yet.
The thing about my dad being a poor kid from Lawrence and the oldest of 6 was that he still managed to make something for himself. He went into the Marines, traveled the world (even though it was for war) and had a family. While his first marriage may not have lasted he and my mom managed to connect even though there were 24 years between them. Then came me. TA DA!!! Here we are 28 years later!
Anyway this whole thing got me thinking about things I want to do before its my turn to meet up with my dad again. So here is a list of 50 things I want to do be die in no particular order.
The List:
1. Go skydiving
2. Take a cruise around the world
3. Fly Concorde to Europe
4. Take the Holocaust tour in Europe (morbid yes but I'm a historian gimme a break!)
5. Tour England to see the Tower of London, Ann Boleyn artifacts, & what's left of Elizabethan times.
6. See the Northern Lights
7. Get back to Washington D.C. (I'd definitely appreciate it more now)
8. Act in a movie
9. Learn how to rock climb
10. Visit all the islands of Hawaii
11. Get my Ph.d in History
12. Visit Australia
13. Visit Dubai
14. Drive a race car
15. Go white-water rafting
16. Walk the Great Wall of China
17. Visit the site of Pearl Harbor
18. Take a road trip across the country
19. Visit the pyramids in Egypt
20. Discover a cure for Type 1 Diabetes (not likely but hey I can dream)
21. Live in Ireland for a year
22. Meet the love of my life and remarry
23. Go to every tropical place possible
24. Set foot on each of the 7 continents
25. Learn a new language
26. Dive with a whale shark
27. Write a book
28. Travel into space
29. Spend 24 hours in the jungle
30. Run a marathon
31. Spend at least 1 night in a storied/historic hotel
32. Attend the Olympics
33. Visit the birthplace or gravesite of a cultural icon
34. Visit Graceland
35. Shake hands with someone who has truly changed the country (for the better)
36. Teach English in a foreign country
37. Learn to fly a plane
38. Be able to forgive those who have hurt me most.
39. Hike across a glacier
40. Ride all of the best roller coasters in the world
41. Have a 1:1 conversation with the President in the Oval Office
42. Play baseball at Fenway Park
43. Conquer a fear
44. Tell all the people I love exactly how much they mean to me
45. Take at least one photograph that becomes famous
46. Visit a spa for an entire week
47. Visit Machu Picchu
48. Save enough money to be able to dive down to the Titanic in a submarine
49. Fall deeply in love -- helplessly and unconditionally.
50. Reflect on my greatest weakness, and realize how it is really my greatest strength
He definitely led such a full life. No one can ever say he didn't take risks nor can anyone say he was boring. He had 12 kids!! 17 grandchilden! 2 great grandchildren!! Granted I'm the only one from he and my mother's marriage but still. How he had time for all that plus worked 2 or 3 jobs back then, I'll never know.
I know when someone close to you dies it tends to make you think about your own mortality and many people even begin to put their own affairs in order. Don't get me wrong...death scares me but I'm not about to start my funeral plans just yet.
The thing about my dad being a poor kid from Lawrence and the oldest of 6 was that he still managed to make something for himself. He went into the Marines, traveled the world (even though it was for war) and had a family. While his first marriage may not have lasted he and my mom managed to connect even though there were 24 years between them. Then came me. TA DA!!! Here we are 28 years later!
Anyway this whole thing got me thinking about things I want to do before its my turn to meet up with my dad again. So here is a list of 50 things I want to do be die in no particular order.
The List:
1. Go skydiving
2. Take a cruise around the world
3. Fly Concorde to Europe
4. Take the Holocaust tour in Europe (morbid yes but I'm a historian gimme a break!)
5. Tour England to see the Tower of London, Ann Boleyn artifacts, & what's left of Elizabethan times.
6. See the Northern Lights
7. Get back to Washington D.C. (I'd definitely appreciate it more now)
8. Act in a movie
9. Learn how to rock climb
10. Visit all the islands of Hawaii
11. Get my Ph.d in History
12. Visit Australia
13. Visit Dubai
14. Drive a race car
15. Go white-water rafting
16. Walk the Great Wall of China
17. Visit the site of Pearl Harbor
18. Take a road trip across the country
19. Visit the pyramids in Egypt
20. Discover a cure for Type 1 Diabetes (not likely but hey I can dream)
21. Live in Ireland for a year
22. Meet the love of my life and remarry
23. Go to every tropical place possible
24. Set foot on each of the 7 continents
25. Learn a new language
26. Dive with a whale shark
27. Write a book
28. Travel into space
29. Spend 24 hours in the jungle
30. Run a marathon
31. Spend at least 1 night in a storied/historic hotel
32. Attend the Olympics
33. Visit the birthplace or gravesite of a cultural icon
34. Visit Graceland
35. Shake hands with someone who has truly changed the country (for the better)
36. Teach English in a foreign country
37. Learn to fly a plane
38. Be able to forgive those who have hurt me most.
39. Hike across a glacier
40. Ride all of the best roller coasters in the world
41. Have a 1:1 conversation with the President in the Oval Office
42. Play baseball at Fenway Park
43. Conquer a fear
44. Tell all the people I love exactly how much they mean to me
45. Take at least one photograph that becomes famous
46. Visit a spa for an entire week
47. Visit Machu Picchu
48. Save enough money to be able to dive down to the Titanic in a submarine
49. Fall deeply in love -- helplessly and unconditionally.
50. Reflect on my greatest weakness, and realize how it is really my greatest strength
January 22, 2010
Horrors in Haiti
Two earthquakes within 1 week. Why does it always take a natural disaster to bring the world together to help a nation that was already in need?
The nation of Haiti has been considered a third world country for how many years? It breaks my heart to see those poor kids and babies with no clean water, not enough medicine, and not even the technology required for medicinal purposes.
I know I'm not the only one bothered by the fact that celebrities think or believe that just because they speak out, perform, or answer telephones that people will donate more. What's even worse is...its true. What does that say about us as a nation?
Oh..how many kids do you think Brad & Angelina will adopt??
The nation of Haiti has been considered a third world country for how many years? It breaks my heart to see those poor kids and babies with no clean water, not enough medicine, and not even the technology required for medicinal purposes.
I know I'm not the only one bothered by the fact that celebrities think or believe that just because they speak out, perform, or answer telephones that people will donate more. What's even worse is...its true. What does that say about us as a nation?
Oh..how many kids do you think Brad & Angelina will adopt??
January 21, 2010
Family Is Everything
Life is seriously about to change. Actually, it already has. Most people make New Year's resolutions, right? Well, I never do. Usually because by the following week you've forgotten or just don't care. Instead, I just hope that the upcoming year will be better than the one passing.
My dad has been in the hospital since the morning of January 1. My 2 boys and I live in the house I grew up in with my parents. Its amazing how much you take for granted but don't realize you're doing it until its time to step up to the plate. It was like getting a freezing cold bucket of water dumped on me. I never realized just how much my dad did for all of us and what that must have taken at his age.
Thank God he's coming home. Not that it will reverse any of the changes. I'll be taking care of the boys and him this time around. He's taken care of me all of my 28 years no matter what now its my turn to take care of him.
Family really is everything in the long run.
My dad has been in the hospital since the morning of January 1. My 2 boys and I live in the house I grew up in with my parents. Its amazing how much you take for granted but don't realize you're doing it until its time to step up to the plate. It was like getting a freezing cold bucket of water dumped on me. I never realized just how much my dad did for all of us and what that must have taken at his age.
Thank God he's coming home. Not that it will reverse any of the changes. I'll be taking care of the boys and him this time around. He's taken care of me all of my 28 years no matter what now its my turn to take care of him.
Family really is everything in the long run.
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